All desire for excess stems from a lack of satisfaction. I’m not satisfied with my portion—be it the portion on my plate, in the marriage bed, or in my bank account. Because I’m not satisfied with my portion, I then seek a greater portion. But because every portion is a finite part of a finite whole, I am constantly chasing an excess that can never satisfy.
And yet, the desire for “more” is not inherently bad, but it is often misdirected. What we need is a relentless appetite for the divine. We need a holy ravenousness. Our craving souls can turn and become enthralled by a goodness that is found in the presence of an all-glorious God. There is only one infinite source of satisfaction that can satisfy our bottomless cravings.
If only we would not stifle our gluttonous cravings, but turn them in the right direction. If only we would feast on an infinite God who offers fullness of life, rather than these lesser tables with the far milder flavors of money, sex, food and power.
We can never repay His love. We can never try to earn it. We can simply try to express our love for Him. A love that is there because like a child running into the arms of a parent, when hurt and broken, we want to lean in closer. Lean in to a Father who does not judge us and only loves us. We are not under the law of condemnation, and how great is that? How great is our God, that no matter what we can run into His arms.
In Matthew 14, when Jesus walks on water, Paul, initially seems to have faith. Instead of asking Jesus if it’ll be alright to walk on the water, he says something we should pray everyday: Jesus, call me to come to you and be able me to walk to you. Call me Lord and enable me! And when Paul’s eyes were not on Jesus and he started sinking, Jesus simply said, “It’s all right. I am here! Don’t be afraid.” Jesus didn’t say he’d calm the storm, but simply that He was there. Jesus is all we need, and if we keep our eyes on Him, He will show us that He is God.
Like Peter, our faith is inconsistent, bold in one moment and absent the next. Imagine what Jesus could do if we refused to doubt? And not only is our God sufficient, he satisfies, and his provisions exceed our need when we rely on Him. Unlike Harod’s birthday party, which was the parallel feast in this chapter, Jesus’ disciples were fed and satisfied with what Jesus provided.
After John the Baptist’s murder, Jesus wanted to give His disciples a retreat, but when he saw the multitude of people, he took compassion on them and did not only want to spiritually care for them, but physically too. Even if you and the disciples were tired and worn out from a long day, you all continued to put others first. Lord, even when we don’t want too, or if we are not in the mood, help us serve you, Lord. Help us to worship you, Lord. We know you are worthy Lord, “Truly you are the Son of God.” Help us to rely on you. To never let our inadequacies lead us to say no to the Lord, but instead, let us see them as opportunities to experience the power of Christ. Lord, you are LORD. And we want to experience you fully. Include us in your plan. Let us be your hands and feet.
"You should come to Paris because you will be, in some way, disappointed by it, as we are with any image we have built up in our heads for so long (as I was the very first time I came here, after so many years spent looking at my postcards and my books and my charming French movies). And in your disappointment, you will realize that there is something much more beautiful under the Haussmanian rooftops and the narrow, winding sidestreets. You will realize that there are real humans here, people whose lives carry on unbeknownst to us, who cannot translate themselves into a rough idiomatic equivalent in English, and whose world will always remain just a little bit of a mystery to us. And you will realize that this — not the monuments — is really what has kept us so in love with this city for so many years."